


Fooled You Again

by peppermiintsplease



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Art, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Dom/sub, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, M/M, My First Work, Oh my god so much angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Esteem Issues, Vaginal Fingering, poor descriptions of automobiles, seriously it's not even good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-04-30 12:12:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5163413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppermiintsplease/pseuds/peppermiintsplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude claims that her art is hobby, that it's not for anyone to see. But when her friend Kate shows her work at a gallery under a false name, Jude may have an unexpected surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the characters, and Jude and Jens meet for the first time. Things don't go exactly how Jude was thinking they would.

“Katelyn.”

“Jude.” This is said on a deep sigh. Like Katelyn doesn’t understand where Jude is going with this?

Jude heaves a sigh around her lunchtime coffee. “I just don’t understand why I have to be there tonight.”

That gets her a glare and a nearly missed jab with a fork. “You’re the artist.”

“Yeah, but no one else knows that.” No one but their close friends at least. She looks at her sandwich. Why do they insist on using that bread with all the seeds and bits of grit in it? is that a twig?

“Which is whose fault?”

“You know perfectly well why I don’t want my name on those pieces, Kate.” She picks the twig out of her bread. Why does Kate keep pushing her on this? It took her ages to get Jude to even agree to show these paintings; there are things on the walls in Kate’s gallery that Jude’s brother Matthew hasn’t even seen. Kate only even discovered that Jude paints because she is a nosy-

“Because you know they’re good, and you don’t want any special favors because of your family?” Kate asks, like she is hoping her best friend would just agree with her.

“Yeah, Kate. That’s why.” More like she’s hoping she doesn’t embarrass herself. Or her brother. Or Kate. Her stomach twists on itself. Shit, she is so fucked.

Katelyn Roarke has been Jude’s best friend since they met at 11 and 12 years old, respectively. She is the one who not only “accidentally” stumbled into the little painting studio inside Jude’s flat several months ago, but also managed to drunkenly convince her equally intoxicated best friend that they needed to be shown.

_“J, please, please please let me show these.”_

_“Kate, stop.”_

_“How long have you been painting? I don’t even remember you taking an art class at school.” Kate looked around at the pieces leaning against the wall, and at the nearly blank canvas currently on the easel in the middle of the room. “These are extraordinary.”_

_Jude rolled her eyes. And made herself dizzy enough that she nearly fell over, but that wasn’t important. Tequila and whiskey had that kind of effect. “That’s because I never took an art class at school. And they’re not extraordinary. They’re just… things. I don’t even usually keep them.”_

_“What do you mean, you ‘don’t keep them’?” Kate looked confused, “What do you do with them?”_

_“I generally toss them in the bin. I used to burn them, but-”_

_“No! What? No! You get rid of them?” Kate hung on to the wall as she stumbled over to where Jude leaned looking bemused in the doorway. “You can’t get rid of these. Promise me you won’t. Let me put them in the gallery. We’re remodeling and I need a show and I want to show your stuff first when we reopen please let me do it I want to do this I’m your best frie-”_

_Jude cut her off. “That’s ridiculous. Don’t you want to kick off your grand reopening with an artist people know? With art that’s actually, you know, arty? And good?” No one ever said she is an eloquent drunk._

_Kate gasped. “Are you fucking kidding me? Jude, this is better than a lot of the stuff at the Roarke that we show. Remember last year? The garbage art? The man literally smeared trash on his canvasses and then sold them for £4,000 per piece!” She looked reproachfully at her friend. “I know you don’t exactly need the money, but throwing these on the rubbish heap…” She looked pained. “I will actually start hanging around behind your building and going through your bins to prevent that.”_

She had ended up pestering Jude for the rest of the night about the paintings, and continued to badger her for a week, until Jude warily agreed. And so an agreement was struck. The Roarke Gallery would show pieces that Jude Grey painted. Katelyn would advertise the show, tell the public that her artist is reclusive, and give a false name.

_“Jacob Gil,” she had said, “so that you can sign the pieces with your initials.” Her tone brokered no room for argument._

“Just… be there tonight?” Katelyn pulls out the full puppy-dog eyes. “I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh, no. Kate. Never again. Do you not remember how the last one went?” The last one was a sommelier named Eustace who insisted on going through and critiquing what felt like every single bottle (and box, let’s be honest) of wine she had ever bought. It was exhausting. There is a reason Jude tends to stick to anonymous men, and the dark corners of the bar scene. There is far less chance of them making her feel so incredibly inadequate, given that they never stick around after a quick shag or a scene.

“This one is different, I swear. Matt even likes him.”

Jude gives her a skeptical look. “Matt wants this guy to go on a date with me.” It is not a question.

“Your brother practically wants to date Jens himself.”

“Jens?” 

“He did the gallery redesign. Look, just say you’ll come. Free drinks?”

“Fine. But I’m not going out with Jens.”

Kate does a happy dance in her chair at the café, clearly ignoring her statement. “Yes! Wear something pretty!”

Jude glares.

\-----------------------------------

Matt finds her in the gallery crowd and taps her shoulder. “Kate wants you to stop sulking in the corner.”

“I’m not sulking. I’m thinking.”

Her twin raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? About what?”

About how she could possibly ruin this gallery’s reputation with her shity pseudo-art. Her stomach stills feels like it’s trying to crawl up her throat and strangle her. “None of your business, that’s what.” She looks him up and down. “Looking good tonight, M.” He is. Wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into navy trousers, sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows, and an emerald green tie, the look is sophisticated without being stuffy. The green tie goes well with his cool blue eyes, and the white contrasts well with his dark hair. “Did your woman dress you?”

He sniffs haughtily, then laughs. “Yes. But I picked the shoes!” He shows off his brown oxfords. “You look nice, too. Dressing to meet a certain gentleman, are we?” Jude crosses her arms and shakes her head, but otherwise doesn’t respond except with a smile.

For twins, Matt and Jude don’t actually look terribly alike. They share similarly-colored pale blue in their eyes, (though Jude has her own differences there) as well as the same sharp nose and round face, but that is where the comparisons end. Where Matt is tall and pale-skinned with dark hair, Jude is average height with a darker complexion that colors in the sun easily, and has long hair that is naturally blonde, though it is currently a light greyish silver. Her eyes though. One was a hazel-green, while the other was the same blue as Matthew's. She hates them. Back in school she got called everything from a mongrel dog to a monster because of them. One kid told her not to look at him because her eyes “freaked him out.” Brutal. She wears a navy blue skater dress with nude ankle boots and gold accessories to this shindig. She hopes this qualifies as “dressing pretty” for Kate. Even though she’s not going out with this guy. Certainly not.

Through the crowd, Jude sees the twins’ godfathers, Charles and Lennon approaching, each holding glasses of sparkling wine. Charles holds one out for Jude and bends to kiss her cheek.

“Everything looks wonderful, Jude.”

Jude laughs, taking the proffered wine. She can feel the red creeping up her neck, tingling her cheeks and the tips of her ears with embarrassment. “Thank you, but it’s really Kate. It’s her gallery, and really it’s her opening. This is all her vision.”

“Take the compliment, Jude.” Len bends down to kiss her cheek as well, after giving Matt a squeeze on the arm as a hello. “Kate wouldn’t have been able to open the Roarke Gallery again without some wonderful art to showcase.” He winks and grins, showing off a dimple in his dark cheek.

“And from what we heard on the way in, people are responding very positively regarding your-er-Jacob Gil’s-work.” Charles chimes in. “Where is Katelyn, actually? I wanted to extend my well wishes on her gallery, as well as compliment her on the opening. She did some fantastic work in here, it looks incredible!” Jude is relieved that the topic had steered away from herself. She isn’t sure what to do with the compliments being thrown her direction and will take any excuse for a change of subject. 

Matt answers for her. “She’s over there, talking to the media covering the event. Discussing her ‘reclusive artist’ I’m sure. Actually, the man she worked with on the construction is here somewhere, too. Jens Grey? He did an amazing job on the renovation, didn’t he?”

That piques Jude’s interest. So the guy Kate wants her to meet is the engineer of the project? She searches around her brain for something neutral to say.

“His last name is Grey?” Charles beats her to it. Damn.

“Yes,” Matt replies. “But no relation. We checked.” He chuckles.

Charles and Lennon decide to have a walk around, to take a look at all the pieces. “Take a look at my goddaughter’s beautiful work,” Len winks again. Jude blushes and looks away. 

Katelyn approaches the twins, looking flushed. 

“I’ve already gotten three offers for different pieces, and we’re barely two hours into the showcase!” She looks eager. “J, this is the perfect exhibition for the Roarke, thank you so much! I can’t believe you’ve already gotten offers!”

Jude is perplexed by the announcement, and blurts out, “People will buy anything you tell them is art if it has a high enough price tag.” She wiggles her toes inside her boots to distract herself from the vaguely sick feeling in her stomach.

A new voice makes the small group jump. “My, aren’t we feeling optimistic today.” Kate’s older brother --and Jude and Matt’s best friend-- Parker approaches the group with his wife and other best friend, Amelia. 

Parker, Jude, Katelyn, Matthew, and Amelia have been friends since they were children at boarding school together from the age of 11 until they graduated at 18. Katelyn had been a year behind the “Fan Four”, as their little group is often called, but had developed a close friendship with Amelia and Jude, and then a romantic relationship with Matthew.

In lieu of a hello, Jude just shrugs, feeling abashed.

Amelia greets the group and adds “Jude, these are amazing.” She looks around to the people standing in little clumps around some of the paintings. “I can't say that I know much about techniques or quite a lot about art, but I heard some very impressed-sounding people.”

“In all seriousness, I knew you painted, but I didn’t know you painted.” Matt agrees with her, glancing around.

Jude brushes him off. “You have such a way with words, Matt. I sometimes wonder why you became a lawyer rather than a poet.”

Parker ignores her. “They’re right, you are actually, seriously, incredibly good at this.”

Kate is triumphant. “I told you!” She crows with a smirk on her face. “Everyone I’ve spoken to has been impressed. And surprised that they’ve never heard of Jacob Gil.”

“Okay, you can all stop now,” Jude pleads, starting to get frustrated. She just doesn’t do compliments, really. They make her feel fluttery, like her insides have grown wings and are trying to escape.

Amelia interjects. “But really-”

“No, really, you need to stop.” Jude turns her back on her friends’ surprised faces, feeling frustrated and a bit twisted up inside. She knows she isn’t worth all this hype. So she paints a little. So what? All she does is smear color on canvas. They aren’t even pictures, for fuck’s sake! Just colors on canvas. A child could do it. Hell, a dog could do it, if only it could hold the brush. Some animals do do it. All the compliments in the world won’t stop the gallery’s attendees from seeing that she is a fraud. 

Jude practically stomps around a corner and stops in front of a particularly dark painting, smeared with black and dark blues, greys and purples, with a thin streak of metallic gold rising from the bottom corner. She squints at it, and frowned. What does Katelyn see that Jude herself can’t?

\-----------------------------------

Jens is startled. A veritable stormcloud of a woman has just stopped half a foot away from him and is glaring at the painting he is currently viewing. 

A gorgeous stormcloud, really. All silver hair and flashes of gold jewelry in a dark blue dress, the woman looks like she is made out of the sky. She can’t be older than 25, but she’s like lightning and sunshine and the deep blue of the night sky gathered together and made into a human.

Jens shakes his head. Making poetry out of random strangers, he thought. Can I be a little bit creepier? He clears his throat.

“Er. Hello?”

She jolts. “Excuse me?”

He raises his eyebrows with a small smile. “I said hello. It’s commonly what people use to greet each other, as I understand.”

“Oh.” She looks at him with wide eyes. Wide, blue eyes. Shit, are eyes ever actually that blue? Wait, they're not both blue, one is a darker but still beautiful hazel. Crap, she’s saying something.

“... really sorry about that. I usually respect personal space a bit more, but I was distracted.” She looks apologetic. But there is still a stormy look in her eyes, like she’s a little bit lost and a little bit angry.

“Oh, that’s okay. Are you alright? You seem a little…” Distracting. Gorgeous. Sad? “Upset.”

“What do you think of this painting?” She looks at him curiously, with a challenge in her eye. “Do you like it?”

Jens looks at the painting and thinks. He has been walking around the gallery for the better part of an hour, just looking. He’d never claim to be an art critic, and never professed much love for paintings, but these have a quality to them. The more he stands in front of them, the more he feels affected by them. While not one of them is of an actual picture, they all have an emotional quality. In front of him for instance.

“I’m not sure how I feel about this one, actually. It’s beautiful, but it makes me sad.” He thinks about it some more. “Though the more I think about it, the more I admire the artist.” These are such personal pieces of himself that Jacob Gil puts on display, Jens decides. This guy has balls.

“Why?” The woman questions. “What makes this artist worth admiring?”

“Well, this painting, for instance. Art is obviously very subjective, and I have no expertise in the field, but it seems to me Gil is obviously distressed when he painted it. The colors are so dark, and very similar, but are almost like they are at war with one another. They’re clashing, and angry, but almost without hope.” He considers the painting once more. “I say almost, though. Do you see that gold streak?” He points.

The woman looks, though now she seems more curious than cross. “What about it?”

“Doesn’t the paint look thicker there? Almost like Gil finished this piece, but decided to come back later and add that single swipe of gold paint? Like a tiny flare of hope in an otherwise dark world. It seems like such a personal statement to make. Like he’s put a part of his soul out here for judge. That takes balls.” Jens reconsiders his statement. Maybe he’s judging it all wrong? “I’m probably wrong,” he admits.

The woman looks at Jens with a tiny frown and her head tilted, like she is considering what he said but isn’t sure of his summary. Then, all at once she nudges him and nods at another painting, this one seeming to be all shades of white.

“What about that one?” She asks. “I want to know your thoughts on that one.”

“I haven’t even gotten a chance to look at that one yet.”

“Well, let’s go look.” She considers him. 

“I’m Jens.” He sticks out his hand, deciding to take a chance that this beautiful creature won’t simply brush him off.

Her eyebrows go up, and her mouth opens in a little “oh!” of surprise. “Jens Grey?”

“Um. Yeah, actually. Are you just really good at guessing names, or…?” He trails off.

Jude’s mouth widens in a smile. She has a really great smile. Jens scowls internally. _God, I’m just a fucking walking clichè, aren’t I?_

“You’re the one who worked with Kate on the gallery! I’m Jude.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Jude? Like--”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t know what I was going to say!” 

“Yes, like the song. My mother liked the Beatles.” She looks like she is daring him to make a comment.

“Hm,” He smiles, and gestures for them to walk to the next painting. 

They pass the next half hour walking through the paintings, Jens noticing that she doesn’t look too closely at any of them, but instead listens intently whenever he offers his thoughts about a particular piece. 

“Hey, Jude?” He quirks a smile.

She purses her lips. “Yeah, That’s new. You’re breaking new ground with that little joke, Jens.” She says it sarcastically, but with little venom in it.

“Do you want to go get something to eat? My treat.” A bubble of hope starts to grow in his chest that he tries to squash.

“Absolutely.”

The bubble grows.

\-----------------------------------

They agree to meet up at the front door, so while Jens goes to get their coats from the coat check, Jude goes looking for her friends to inform them she is leaving. 

“Leaving!” Kate exclaims in mock surprise. “So soon?”

“Funny, Kate. Hilarious. You saw me talking to him, I assume?”

“Yes, I did.” She admits. “And you can go ahead and add him to the list of things that I was right about tonight.” She laughs, and said “Go ahead, say hi to Jens for me. I’ll make your excuses to everyone else.”

Shaking her head, but smiling at her friend, Jude turns to leave, and catches Matt’s eyes from where he is standing and talking to Parker and Lennon. He furrows his brow. What’s up?

Jude smiles. She and her twin always have been able to communicate with a series of facial expressions and gestures. She nods towards the door. I’m headed out.

A questioning look is sent her way. _Do you want me to go with you?_ And probably, _is everything okay?_

Jude rolls her eyes dramatically, grins, and wiggles her eyebrows. _You’re overreacting. Everything’s good. Really good._

Matt huffs, waves, and turns his attention back to his conversation. He probably will be annoyed with her that she didn’t stop to explain everything, but he’ll get over it. He always worries too much about Jude, claims that since he is the older twin it is big brother’s privilege to worry about little sister. Frankly, it is a worry that Jude doesn’t want, nor does she feel that it is a worry she deserves.

 _Woah there_ , Jude thinks to herself, _let’s not start with what you deserve right now._

She meets Jens at the door, where he hands her her warm woolen coat, hat, and oversized scarf.

“Did you drive here tonight?” He questions.

“No. Kate actually picked me up. I think she wanted to make sure that I would actually come and not convince myself that I isn’t wanted,” she tries for light hearted, but it still comes out a little sad. She moves on quickly when she sees Jens frown lightly. “Anyway, I figured I would probably just take the tube or a taxi home tonight, if I left before she did. Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, I’m parked just up here. We can drive to this pub I know, if you want? It’s only a few blocks away, but it’s fuckin’ frigid tonight.” He looks down at her feet. “I have a feeling you don’t want to walk too far in those heels.” He gives her a grin.

“You would be correct.” She laughs. “So where is this car of yours?”

A wide smile splits his face, and he practically gushes, “oh man, you are in for a treat.” He leads her to a small sports car, painted such a dark green it is almost black. “She’s my girl. A 1964 AC Cobra. My dad and I had restored her over in the states, but I was never able to drive her on the road over there, since it’s not technically road legal there. But I did a metric shit ton of paperwork to be allowed to bring her over here when I moved, and now I can drive her on the road. It’s a fuckin’ dream come true. I swear, my dad is coming to visit in February just so he can drive on a road with her.”

Jens’s green eyes light up as he rambles about his car, which he obviously loves.

“How did you end up with it in the states, if it’s not even legal there?” She asks as they go down the road. The interior is a brown leather, soft to the touch, and so smooth. “I mean, I would’ve thought if you are restoring a car, you’d want to be able to drive it on the road.”

“Well, we got the body from a collector who knew nothing about cars. He had what seemed like piles of all these amazing cars, but in the worst condition imaginable. We bought it off of him and thought about changing the driver orientation, but it didn’t seem right. She’s a Brit, you know? I’m not going to force her to become an American. No one likes Americans, least of all Americans.” He gives a cheeky grin and steers the car around a corner. His light hearted attitude is infectious, and Jude can’t help but be amused by his jokes.

The pub that Jens had chosen is a typical British pub. A bit smoky, a bit run down, but comfortable. The pair are perhaps a touch over-dressed for such a place, but Jens assures her that it doesn’t matter, that he would eat at this pub naked, their fries were so good.

“I’m not sure they would serve you any chips, if you showed up naked.”

“I think you underestimate how good I look naked.” Jens grins again, and Jude feels her cheeks go pink. He smiles a lot. “You’re probably right though. It must violate some kind of health code. Or at least scandalize your delicate English sensibilities,” he teases.

They sit down at a booth in the corner, and each order a pint and some food.

Jens loosens his blue and white striped tie and rolls up the sleeves of his pale blue shirt and soft-looking charcoal grey sweater to reveal a large black silhouette of what looks like types of pine trees all around his left forearm.

“So how did you end up in London?” Jude asks him, tearing her eyes away from his tattoo and taking a sip of her beer. He shrugs.

“That’s a bit of a story.”

“I’ve time.”

“Okay. Well, obviously you know I’m an engineer, and that I did the remodel of the gallery. I own a company here in London. It’s still small, but it’s growing pretty quickly. I moved over here about three years ago. I was raised in New York City, and my family has a certain amount of, um, notoriety. I couldn’t go to lunch with a friend without page six speculating if it is a girlfriend, my secret lover, or for a little while, my drug dealer.” He shakes his head.

“I’m familiar with the feeling, actually.”

“Oh that’s right, you have a pretty well-known family yourself, Kate told me.” He raises his eyebrows, and Jude just nods her head. “Anyway, so I got my degree in engineering, and then continued on to get my master’s degree in engineering… and then I just couldn’t get everything started in New York. Everywhere I went, it felt like people were either doing me ‘favors’, and having me do these little jobs because they ‘owed my dad’, or they were refusing to let me work, because they had a contract with another company. It was infuriating. 

“So without giving you my entire family history, my sister and I have dual citizenship in England and the U.S. since my father is originally from here. So I decided to see what it would take to be certified and set up a business here. The stars must have been aligned for me to succeed so far, because everything has been working out.” He took a breath. “So, that’s me. I’m here. I work too much, and I’m a loud American in a sea of stuffy, overly polite Brits.”

“Oh, come on. We aren’t all overly polite. The other day I burned my finger on the kettle and I only apologized once.”

Jens tilted his head back and laughed, a full body laugh that sent warmth shooting all the way down to her toes. He is beautiful when he laughed, his eyes crinkling up in the corners and dimples coming up on his cheeks. Jude decides to make him laugh more often.

“Oh, man, okay. You’re not all stuffy. You’re funny! I like you.” He wipes away a stray tear. “Okay, so what’s your story?”

Jude’s belly tightens. She attempts to brush him off with another small laugh.

“Oh, I’m not that interesting. Sort of boring, actually.”

“I don’t believe that for a second, Jude… Jude. What’s your last name?”

“It’s Grey. Didn’t you meet my brother?” Jude is confused. Didn’t Kate tell her that Matt and Jens had met?

“Oh! Matt is your brother! Yes! We did actually have that conversation. And I remember Matt and Kate saying that you and I had to meet.”

“And yet you looked surprised when you heard my name!”

“Well… They didn't actually tell me your name, come to think of it. I didn't even ask. All I knew was that I had to 'meet Matt's sister." Plus, I was surprised by your name. Jude. It’s not a typical name, is it?”

“Whereas ‘Jens’ is the most popular name of the century,” she remarks drily.

“Okay, you’ve got me on that one. But my mom is Swedish, and it’s a family name, okay? I want to know how you ended up with a name like ‘Jude’, but your brother is ‘Matthew’.” He looks interested. “I actually love names. I love hearing the stories that come along with interesting names. I once met a child named Abcde. Not even joking.”

“No! That’s insane. I’m starting to think I got off easy with my name, compared to that.”

“Yeah, well. That’s America for you.” He shifts in his seat and leans a little bit closer. “Now, dish. ‘Jude’. What’s that about?”

Jude laughs. “You haven’t even heard my full name yet. Matt’s full name is ‘Matthew James’, right? Very average.”

Jens nodded. “Yup. Simple. Classic. What’s yours?”

“Jude Ariadne.”

“Shut up.”

“Nope.”

“God, they never gave you a chance, did they?”

“Well, according to my godfather Charles, my parents had a difficult time compromising on names for my brother and I when we were born, so they flipped a coin. My dad named my brother after his father, and my mum named me after a Beatles song and a Greek myth. Ariadne. Daughter of King Minos, aided Theseus to escape from the Cretan labyrinth after killing the Minotaur.” She leans forward. This is a part of herself that she doesn’t mind sharing.

“Confession? I also have a bit of an obsession with names. I think my mum thought I would become some great thinker, a puzzle solver. I studied linguistics for both my undergraduate degree and doctorate. It’s a completely useless degree set, but it was something I didn’t mind studying.”

“You have a doctorate?” Jens looks surprised.

“Surprising, right? I don’t really seem like someone who would have a PhD. I’m not exactly the smart one among my friends. I sometimes feel like I tricked my professors into giving me my degrees.” She gives a huff of laughter, picks at a piece of wood in the table top, and lapses into silence, her stomach twisting with the regret of saying anything. Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut about her inadequacies? Jude glances up at Jens, who looks at her with an assessing stare.

“I haven’t known you very long, but I have a feeling that that’s not true.” Jens’s eyes are dark as they look at her, and Jude feels her breath quicken and stutter in a slight panic as she answered him.

“Yeah, but you haven’t known me long,” Jude parrots his words back to him, voice soft. She quickly redirects the conversation back to Jens. “So you understand the famous rich kid thing, huh? What is it that gives your family notoriety?” She forces her voice back into an appropriate volume, and forces her hands to still where there were still picking at the tabletop.

They talk about how Jens’s mother had been a model, and his grandfather and father are well-known for starting Grey Industries, a conglomerate that even Jude has heard of, but that his generation is more of the “famous for being famous” type, that use their trust funds to attend parties and charity functions. He talks about how he used a portion of his to start his company, and is happy to be away from the NYC party scene of which his siblings and cousins were still a part. 

Jens talks with his hands. He has very nice hands. _I bet those hands are capable of a whole lot_. Jude muses as she watches them dance through the air.

“Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to a party. And I definitely had a time in college where I partied just about every day, but it’s exhausting. When I started making some friends inside my engineering classes and taking time off from the clubbing scene, I found I didn’t miss it like I thought I would.”

In return, Jude talks about how since her politically famous and well-known, well-bred parents had died (“We actually have a Lordship title in the family that passed on to Matthew, but he doesn’t really like to talk about it.”), they had moved in with their uncle Robert, their father’s brother. She tells him how she and her brother had been legacies at a posh boarding school and met Parker, then Amelia, and then all of Parker’s family.

“The Roarkes basically adopted Matt and I. Uncle Robert isn’t exactly a warm person, and I think Mrs. Roarke picked up on that. She had Matt and I staying at their house every chance she could get us. Uncle Robert is very big on ‘familial responsibility’ and making sure that we ‘honored the memory of our parents’,” she sighs. “He made sure that we were all seen publicly at important events or when the Queen is around, like knightings and weddings and baptisms of other nobility, but otherwise mostly left us to our own devices and let us go off with the Roarkes.” _Except when he was beating me silly and letting me know how absolutely it is my fault that my parents were dead, yeah._

She doesn’t add that the only time Uncle Robert laid his hands on them was to cause pain, and doesn’t share that he especially blames Jude for the death of her parents, and that she believed him. Part of her still believes him.

“You mentioned a godfather back at the gallery. You didn’t spend much time with him?”

“Charles and Lennon! Charles is my godfather and Lennon is Matt’s, though they definitely treat us as though we are their children. They were best friends with our parents growing up. When mum and dad died, Uncle Robert got custody of us. He never liked them much and so we didn’t see much of them besides phone calls and letters until we were older teenagers and could ask to see them more. Now, of course, we see them all the time. There were even some summers away from school where we spent time split between them and time with the Roarkes.”

“All that time around your best friend, and you and Parker never coupled off?” Jens actually looks a little nervous and won't quite meet her gaze as he asks the question. 

“Ah, no. Parker only really ever had eyes for Amelia, even when we were young. I'm the odd duck out of my friends, I'm afraid. I never have found someone who could put up with me for very long.” Jude uncrosses and recrosses her legs, foot bouncing and she sits fidgeting. “I guess I'm not long term relationship material, you know? ‘Pretty girl, not much going on underneath all that hair,’” Jude's gaze turns inward as she thinks over the last few people with whom she was intimate. They tend to taper off wanting to see her after she had slept with them. 

Jens stares openly at her. 

“Not long term relationship material? What the hell does that mean?”

“Just something my last boyfriend said to me. It's fine, really.” Jude mutters, wishing she had said nothing at all. Open mouth, regret everything said, ever. Sort of her modus operandus, really. She quickly changes the subject. “You mentioned siblings, plural. How many of you are there?”

Jens frowns, like he isn't quite ready to end that particular conversation, but consents to the subject change. 

They talk until their glasses and plates are cleared, nodding when the other makes a good point, smiling whenever they catch each other’s eyes, and unconsciously moving their chairs closer until they’re practically touching. Jude studies Jens’s mouth as he talks and decides it is a very nice mouth. Straight white teeth. Lips that look soft, though slightly chapped as though he moistens his lips often with his tongue. 

_Oh god, don’t think about his tongue_. Jude bites her lip.

“Can I give you a ride back home?” Jens’ hopeful voice startles Jude out of her contemplation of his lips.

“You don’t need to,” Jude hedges, sure he is simply trying to be kind. “I can take a taxi from here, it’s not terribly far.” 

“It’s no trouble. Or you could come back to my place for coffee. Or tea, you know, if that’s more your style. I’ve got both.” He winks at her as he tosses a few notes on the table to cover the bill. 

Jude waffles. She wanted to get to know this green-eyed man with the nice mouth and graceful hands, but fears the inevitable rejection.

If she had been standing her knees would've surely knocked together. She takes a stuttering breath. 

“Sure. Tea sounds great.”

\-----------------------------------

Jens is intrigued by Jude. He watches her from the corner of his eye while tapping the steering wheel of his beloved car with his thumbs. What is it about her? She is gorgeous, yes, but more than that, she is interesting. It’s been a long time since he had felt that warm feeling inside his chest, that feeling that travels down to his fingertips, making them tingle like they ache to reach out and touch her cheek to find out if it is as smooth as it looks. 

But she seems sad in her own way. Jens considers this thought. Not when you’re looking directly at her, no. When she knew you were watching she seems so bright that it’s difficult to look away. But when you catch a glimpse of her when she doesn’t feel observed, it seems as though she is waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’s on edge, waiting for the bad news. Jens resolves then and there that nothing is going to happen that night. He wants her, badly. But he is going to wait. He is going to court her. 

He breathes out a small laugh at his own choice of words. It is as if living in England is giving him the vocabulary of a Jane Austen gentleman. 

“What?” Jude's curious voice makes him look over at her. 

“It's nothing. I was just thinking about how my vocabulary has changed since I've moved over here. The second I call an elevator a ‘lift’ or a bathroom a ‘loo’ next time I'm in the states I'm afraid my friends there will light me on fire for becoming one of those people. I've always hated those people and now I'm one of them!” He chuckles again, and sees Jude grinning in response, which lights him up with renewed warmth and energy as he pulls up to the space in front of his flat. 

Jens gets out of the car and quickly walks around to open Jude's door. He offers her a hand to walk up the slippery walk to the door, and holds it for a moment running his thumb along her knuckles, feeling little shocks in his thumb at each bump. He watches Jude swallow and jump a little as she jerkily pulls her hand from his grasp to rub the skin at the back of her neck. She looks embarrassed.

“Sorry, I just--” Jude starts, and then stops and looks at the ground. That won’t do. He wants her to laugh again.

He pauses for a moment, then smiles as he opened the door. “It’s okay. Anyway. Welcome to me ‘umble dwelling, m’lady.” He affects a cockney accent as they entered the room.

“That’s a terrible accent!” Jude looks as though she is suppressing a grin.

“Got you to laugh though, didn’t I?” Mission accomplished.

\-----------------------------------

Jens’ flat isn’t large, but it has big windows that look out onto an unusually large back garden. He has enough space in his sitting room for a comfortable looking sofa, enormous armchair, and a television. The sitting room is open to a modest looking kitchen, and there are three doors off of the main hallway.

“There are two bedrooms, and a bathroom through here. I mainly use one as my office, but I have a sofa in there that pulls out into a bed for when I have visitors, and the other is my room.” He gestures to each door as he speaks. “How do you take your tea?”

“White, no sugar.” Jude wanders about the room, looking at the large bookcase and the photos on the tables. She tries to settle her nerves and lower her expectations. Just because he asks questions to seemingly get to know her didn’t mean he wants something different from her than the others. She turns as Jens comes back into the room with two mugs.

“Thank you.” She pauses. “You know, I appreciate all this, but it’s really not necessary.”

He tilts his head. “What’s not necessary?”

“This. Getting to know me, buying me dinner, making me tea. You don’t have to do all that to get me in bed with you.”

“I know I don’t. I wanted to. And who said I just wanted to ‘get in bed’ with you?”

That is unexpected. “You- what? Why?”

“Do I need a reason? I like you. You’re interesting.”

“I’m really not.”

“Maybe I should get to decide that for myself.”

Jens steps up into the space in front of her, and takes the mug out of her hands, setting it on the table beside them. He settles one hand wrapped around behind her on her waist and brushes the other against her cheek.

“I was right,” he smiles, like he’d won an argument. “Your skin is soft.”

Jude becomes aware of her quickening breath and a shiver that runs down her spine. “Are you going to kiss me?”

The response is soft, and very close to her ear. “Would you like me to kiss you?” His hand trails down to the side of her neck, and Jude tilts her head into the sensation, feeling the warmth of his body near hers and parting her legs slightly. “Sometimes I feel like we move too quickly towards traditional kissing, when there are so many other ways to get to know each other. Hands, for example.” Here, he takes her hand, and pulls it close to his mouth. She can feel his warm breath on the palm of her hand before he moves to kiss the pad of each fingertip. Jude sighs with the feeling, which accompanies a definite warming in her core. Her lips part as she watches him gently kiss her hand and the tension begins to drain out of her muscles. This is perhaps the most soothing thing a potential partner has ever done for her. 

Jens’ eyes flick up to look at her, as she licks her lips. She closes her eyes and finally feels his soft, slightly chapped lips against hers. His tongue licks along the seam of her lips, she grants it entry and unconsciously rolls her hips slowly against his. Damn, is he a good kisser. She lets out a soft sound as their tongues massage and lick into each other.

After what feels like several hours, but is probably only a minute, Jens pulls back. “I’d like to see you again.”

Jude feels slightly dazed. And a bit confused. “The night’s not over.”

He gives a small smile and runs his lips over her knuckles. “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.”

Jude feels her expression fall. Had she disappointed him somehow?

“Not because I don’t want to, Jude. But I’d like to get to know you. I don’t mean to put you off. But I think I’m past the stage in my life where meaningless hookups are any fun. I want to know you.”

“What if you don’t like what you find?”

“Impossible.”


	2. Two

The next morning, Jude wakes up early and is grumpy. She hates waking up early. Mornings are not to be trusted. Morning people are to be trusted even less. Going back to sleep doesn’t seem to be an option, given that she has been lying on her back staring at her white ceiling for 10 minutes. Instead, she shuffles out of bed, makes coffee, and paints.

She sets up a blank canvas on an easel facing away from the windows, and considers her palette of available colors. Jude selects soft greens and greys, with a metallic bronze added as an afterthought. Placing her coffee to the side, she picks up a clean brush and begins to paint.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

“We come bearing coffee from that place with the fish!” Matthew calls, as he lets himself into Jude’s flat. “They didn’t have the right flavor of tea, so Kate’s in a mood.”

“I’m not ‘ _in a mood_ ’!” comes Kate’s voice from behind him. “I simply think that if they are going to print on their board that they have peppermint tea, they shouldn’t try to substitute spearmint when they’re out of peppermint! That’s pants! Just tell me you’re out of peppermint!”

“Yes, you sound very calm and relaxed about it. Please, tell us more.” Matt’s sarcastic reply comes as he balances Jude’s drink on top of his own and locks the door.

No response from inside the flat. Huh.

“Is she even here?” Kate’s voice came from the kitchen, where she is undoubtedly making an entirely new cup of tea from Jude’s supplies.

“Hang on, I hear music coming from the studio.”

Matthew ventures through the front room of the flat and down the hall where the three bedrooms are, and peers inside the open door. Jude is standing in front of a canvas covered in shades of green, all blending into each other, from chartreuse to a dark green that reminded him of pine trees. She had on loose-fitting pajama pants and a sleeveless shirt that allows Matthew to see the colorful flowers that adorn her right arm from shoulder to elbow, and she is barefooted in the chilly morning. He shuts off her music.

“Don’t you know it’s November? Far too cold for no sleeves and no socks.” Matthew grins at her when she jumps and turns around to see him standing there.

“Thanks, mum. I’m so glad you came over to criticize what I wear in my own home.” She grabs a sweater from a chair in the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“Kate and I went out to get coffee this morning and thought we would drop some by on our way back home.” He nods towards the painting. “What are you working on?” Jude shrugs.

“Just something I couldn’t get out of my head. It’s nothing. What are you really doing here?”

“What, I can’t just stop and bring you coffee? It’s from the place with the fish!” He hands his sister the aforementioned beverage. 

“Unasked? Doesn’t seem like you.” Crap, she’s suspicious. 

Matt squirms uncomfortably, and then says, with a voice that sounds overly casual even to his own ears, “Kate wanted to bring you coffee.”

“Kate doesn’t drink coffee and she hates the tea from the place with the fish. They never have the peppermint and always try to pretend spearmint is the same. So. What are you doing here?”

Damn her eidetic memory.

“Fine. I wanted to know how it went with Jens last night.”

“Ha! Figures. You’re such a nosy parker, M. Why don’t you just admit it?”

“There’s nothing to admit. How did it go?”

“It is fine. We went to a pub, we had tea at his flat, and he drove me home in his gorgeous car.”

“What kind of car?” Momentarily distracted until his brain catches up with the first thing she said. “Wait, you had tea in his flat?”

“A 1964 AC Cobra. And yes.” Okay, that is a seriously cool car. He had no idea Jens drove a cool car.

“Who had tea in who’s flat?” Kate is out of the kitchen and sipping a fresh cup of the right kind of tea.

“She went to Jens’s flat last night and had tea!” Matthew is distressed. What if this guy took advantage of his sister? He met Jens, and liked him, but that didn’t mean that he trusted this guy that he barely knew with his sister! 

“Matthew, calm down. Stop flapping your hands at my face! Did you ‘have tea’ or did you actually have tea?”

“I have no idea what you’re asking me.” Jude lowers her eyebrows in confusion.

“I wasn’t aware there were different ways to have tea.” Matthew echoes her confusion.

Kate sighs, a deep sigh, the one she uses when she feels that those around her are being deliberately obtuse. “Did you sleep with him?”

“Christ, Kate! I don’t want to hear that about my sister!” That is definitely too much information for Matt. He has a distinct “la la la la la I’m not listening” approach to the topic of his sister and sex.

“Relax, Matt, we didn’t have sex.” Phew. Spare him the details on that one.

“I can’t believe you didn’t sleep with that sexy man.”

“He didn’t want to,” Jude replies quietly, looking away and sipping her coffee. 

That makes Matthew pause. Because as much as he does not want to hear about people that his sister has sex with, he also wants to know why his sister wasn’t good enough for Jens. He looks over at Kate and hopes she will ask the question he wants answered. He tries to push it into her brain with his own.

“Why not?” Matt does a happy dance in his head. It worked!

“I don’t know. Something about how meaningless hookups weren’t fun and how he wanted to ‘get to know’ me. That’s bullshit, right? He was brushing me off. Which is fine.” Jude is definitely doing that thing where she puts on a happy face. He hates it when she does that. So he decides to jump in.

“J, it doesn’t seem like it was a brush-off. Did he give you his number, or take yours? He said he wants to get to know you. Isn’t that better than a one night stand?” 

His sister gives an affirmative to exchanging numbers, but doesn’t respond to the rest. So Kate does instead.

“You like him, though? Because all this is stupid if you don’t like him.”

“Yeah, I like him.” Jude nearly whispers it.

“Then call him.” Jude’s phone rings.

“Or… he’ll call me.” She looks slightly panicked. “What do I do?”

“Answer it! We’ll get out of here, if you’d like.” Katelynn starts to push Matt out the door.

“Hey!” He wanted to stay for the phone call! He could hear Jude answering the phone in a soft voice behind him.

“No, you’ll just embarrass your sister. Text her later.” And Matt and Kate went home.

\------------------------------------

Dinner. They were going to have dinner. Jude is panicking, just a little. Just enough to feel slightly sick, but not enough to actually be sick. She’s never gone on a date before with someone she actually liked. All the dates her friends set up we inconsequential and completely uninteresting to Jude, and anyone she dated in school was just someone she fell in with. Dating someone she could potentially like is a complete unknown to her.

She should cancel.

Halfway through re-organizing her bathroom she phones Amelia, and the second her friend picks up, Jude blurts out, “I should cancel, right?” Amelia was always so level-headed about these things, and ever so logical She would be able to set everything to rights.

“I’m sorry, what?” Amelia sounds confused. Is she not up to speed? Can she not just read Jude’s mind and know exactly why everything was going to go wrong?

“My date with Jens. We’re going on a date. Tonight. To dinner. What do I even wear?” She’s definitely not panicking. How do people go on dates when they don’t even know the dress code?

“Where are you going to dinner?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t ask! How do I know what to wear if I don’t know where we’re going? Right, I’m cancelling.”

“Don’t cancel. What time do you need to leave?”

“Jens is picking me up in three hours.”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes, and I’ll bring Kate if she’s at home.”

Relief sweeps through Jude. “You don’t need to do that.”

Amelia scoffs. “Of course I do. You’re going mad. I bet you’re angstily mopping the floors as we speak. I don’t know your wardrobe as well as I used to--we don’t share a dormitory anymore. I’d like the visual, please. Be there in ten.”

Eleven minutes later, Amelia is in Jude’s kitchen, opening a bottle of sparkling wine, and Kate is standing in front of Jude’s open wardrobe, staring at the contents with a bewildered expression on her face. She calls out to Amelia, “I think we need to check in with Jude more often.”

“What? Why-- oh.” Amelia comes through the door with a tray of glasses and stops, also staring at Jude’s open closet doors.

Jude already knows what they are going to say. Inside the closet, every single piece of clothing that she owns is hung, with the hangers meticulously spaced, and color coded. Within the color-coding, each item is organized by clothing type: shirts, trousers, skirts and dresses. Every pair of shoes that Jude owns is lined up according to style and color.

The obsessive organization of her personal things is one part holdover from living with Uncle Robert, and one part reflection of her mental state. Last time Jude and Matthew returned from a family function Uncle Robert forced them to attend so he could parade them around as a perfect family, all the while managing to tear Jude down, she came home and cleaned for 12 hours straight. She only stopped when Matthew came over the next day and made her go to bed. 

“Can we just---not? Let’s not talk about it. Find me something to wear, please.” Jude begs, hoping that they can just move on without having a talk. 

“Fine. What about your navy dress?” Amelia asks.

Kate interjects with “no, she already wore navy two nights ago at the gallery opening.”

“Well, I think she can’t go wrong with black.”

“Yes! Don’t you have that dress with the scalloped hem? Wear that with black stockings and your black ankle boots and you’re good to go!” Kate clapped her hands once with excitement.

Jude ends up wearing her long hair down in waves, except for a braided section up front to keep her hair out of her eyes. Kate and Amelia make her put on a matching set of pretty underwear (“what if you get in a car crash?” Kate had cried innocently, while Amelia rolled her eyes. “Don’t you want to look pretty in the ambulance?"), her black stockings, shoes, and dress, and mixed metallic accessories. They topped it off with her multicolored glittered clutch, and declared her ready to go. 

The doorbell rings. Katelynn yelps softly in surprise and almost hits Jude with the brush she was using to touch up her eyeshadow. Jude, in an attempt to stop Kate from hitting her with said brush, flings her arm holding her wine glass out and spills it all over her friend. Amelia takes action.

“Jude. Kate and I will clean up with spilled wine. Kate, put the brush down, her makeup is finished and she looks lovely. Jude, go answer the door and go on your date. We will lock up when we leave.”

“Are you sure I should--” Jude’s nerves are getting the better of her.

“Go!” Both of her friends urge her towards the door, closing the bedroom door behind her. Jude looks in the mirror next to the door one more time, and pulls the door open, where she finds a smiling Jens.

“Hi,” she smiles at him. “Come on in. I only need to get my coat and my purse, and we can leave.”

“Hello, Jude.” he grins at her, looking every inch a handsome as she remembers him with the collar of his coat turned up against the cold. “You look beautiful. Is that the edge of a tattoo I spy?” He’s looking at her forearm, where Jude realizes that you can see just the ends of a cluster of colorful arrows on her left forearm. 

“Oh. Um. Yes. It’s a cluster of arrows.” She pulls her sleeve up slightly to show him, and he leans down and holds her arm gently to look closely at them. When he looks up, he releases her arm, and she begins to put on her coat after looping her scarf around her neck.

“Those are cool. I’ve never seen colors like that in a tattoo. They almost look like pastels, they’re beautiful.”

Jude grabs her purse and indicates that they should walk out the door. “The artist told me that he came across those inks and wanted to try them out. It was definitely a bit of a gamble, but they turned out nicely. My other tattoo has much more traditional coloring to it.” They walk down the hallway and out the door onto the street. “Where are we headed?”

“I made a reservation at Pied a Terre, I’ve heard the food there is good, though I can’t say I’ve had a lot of French food in my life. It’s just a couple of blocks and it’s not too cold tonight. Walk or cab?”

“Let’s walk.”

“You said you have another tattoo?” Jens asked while they walked.

Jude grins. No one ever expects her to have them, and part of her delights in subverting their expectations. “Yes, I have a fairly extensive piece on my right arm. Perhaps you’ll get to see it sometime.” She looks innocently at him, and in return his eyes darken slightly.

“Maybe I’ll get to see it tonight.”

“You’ll have to play your cards right, then.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to be mysterious, Miss Grey, but you know you can’t resist me.”

“Mr. Grey, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“I might just be.”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy! Jens and Jude go on their date.

Dinner was wonderful. Jens and Jude rarely ran out of things to talk about, and found that they shared a similar obsession with Doctor Who.

“It’s actually sort of a relief to be in an area where they know what you are talking about and don’t think you’re insane for loving this British television show about a time travelling alien.”

“I doubt you’ll encounter much skepticism here. Doctor Who and Harry Potter are basically a required part of our citizenship at this point. Who’s your favorite Doctor?”

And so on. 

Now, they’re standing at the door of Jude’s flat, and she’s trying to figure out a way to invite him in without being too obvious about what she’s getting at. 

“Do you-- I mean, can we--” She trails off. “Come inside? Stay?” She feels like a bumbling teenager. Shouldn’t she be able to invite a man she knows into her apartment without it being awkward? She’s an adult, dammit!

She needn’t have felt that way. The moment she and Jens step through the door and close it behind themselves, Jens is removing her scarf and attaching his lips to the side of her neck, kissing and nibbling gently. He inhales deeply.

“I’ve wanted to do this all night.” He slides her coat off her shoulders and then does his own, tossing them both off to the side out of their path.

Jude pulls away breathing hard, and gestures for Jens to follow her to the couch, where they sit together and immediately their lips find each other again. 

“You need… less clothes….” Jude breathes out between kisses. She tries for the hem of Jens’ navy sweater, but misses with fumbling fingers. She manages to untuck the shirt underneath and get her hands on the skin of his hips and back.

He helps her out by breaking the kisses to pull the sweater over his head and her hands fly to the buttons on his shirt.

“You’ve got too many clothes too, you know.” He gives her a wicked smile and puts his hand on the zipper to her dress. “May I?”

“Yes yes yes,” Jude pants. He unzips her dress and she climbs into his lap, straddling his hips with her own as he pulls her dress over her head. 

She grinds down on his lap as he grinds up into her, and it clearly rubs him in all the right ways, if the deep moan from his throat means anything.

Suddenly, he flips them both over on the couch, putting Jude on her back with Jens leaning over her. He brings his hand up to cover her right breast and leans toward her left with his mouth. Jens’ flicks his eyes up to her. “Is this okay?

“It’s so much more than okay, please, just touch me.” Jude pants, arching her back into his warm hand and wet mouth, which closes over her nipple through her bra. He sucks on it slightly and bites it through the fabric for a moment while his hand travels behind her to unclasp it, and begins to remove the offending article.

“Oh my god,” Jude whimpers when he switches from the left nipple to the right, and proceeds to give it the same treatment, while his hands wander down to between her legs, where he gently runs his fingers across her rapidly dampening panties. 

“So wet for me. I bet you like this huh? Just me running my fingers along your pussy. It feels so good, but it’s still not enough, is it?” He runs the edge of his fingernail along the outline of her pussy lips, and Jude lets out a desperate moan.

“Please, touch me…” she gasps, grabbing at his forearm where he leans on the couch over her. “I need you to touch me, please…” she begs softly, all the more turned on from the gentle tease of his fingers.

All at once, he pulls her panties and stockings down, revealing her cunt, which is glistening and wet. He leans down and gives her one long lick with his tongue.

“Ah!” Jude gasps, while he uses his fingers and tongue to tease the outside of her pussy, just barely grazing over her clit.

Jens slides one long finger into her cunt and curves it gently to tease at her g-spot, and Jude arches up, gasping and moaning. “Oh, please please please that was so good…”

“Oh, we’re just getting started.” Jens gives her a somewhat evil grin, and goes to work.

He slides another finger in alongside the first, and begins to rock them in and out, all while licking and sucking on her clit. “Keep those knees open, Jude,” he warns. “You wouldn’t want me to stop, would you?” She shakes her head back and forth, desperately trying to keep her knees from closing from the intense pleasure. He continues his assault, now rubbing with his thumb on her clit and pressing and rubbing all along her g-spot as he thrusts his fingers in her pussy. “Do you want to come for me, Jude?”

“Yes, please, oh my god, let me come for you, please…” she trails off, words becoming more muddled in the haze she finds herself in. It’s like she’s never been fingered before. She had been mildly aroused all through dinner, but when he started kissing her on the neck it was as though he found a magic button to make her wetter than she’d been in years. And now he was playing her like… like… God, she couldn’t think of like what. Something that it takes a lot of skill to play. And for the last few minutes he’d been bringing her to the edge and back again, so close to orgasm but never quite making it there. 

“Come for me, Jude.”

And she does. She comes, with a loud whine and a groan, her eyes squeezing shut and feels his slick hand get even slicker, fingers sliding in and out, working her through one hell of an orgasm.

“Where is your bedroom, Jude?” Jens’ leans down to breathe next to her ear. She gestures faintly towards the door. She hears Jens moving around the apartment, but feels too sated to move for a moment. In a second he’s back, helping her to sit up, and giving her some water from a glass.

“Bedroom?” He asks, lifting an eyebrow and giving her another wicked grin.

“Absolutely.” He takes her hand and leads her through the door.

“Condoms?” He asks, turning around to kiss her hard, up against the wall of the bedroom while his hands wander all over her body.

“Bathroom,” she breathes out. “Top drawer on the left side of the vanity. He winks at her and walks away, still wearing his jeans and socks, and a moment later she hears him opening the drawer in the bathroom.

She takes the moment to remove her bracelets and necklace, and sits down on the bed to wait for him.

When Jens exits the bathroom, Jude suppresses a sound by biting on her bottom lip. He’s removed his dark jeans and is wearing only a tight pair of boxer briefs which leave little to the imagination. As he walks toward her, she reaches forward to get her hands on him to free his thick cock from his pants. She squeezes her hand around him, up and down, while he steps out of his pants and gently pushes her down onto her back on the bed.

“As much as I would love to feel your hands on me, I’ve been waiting all night to get inside your tight cunt. It’s so wet and ready for me.” He rolls the condom onto his length and leans forward to rub his cock between Jude’s pussy lips, getting his cock nice and wet. “Do you want me to fuck you, Jude?”

“Yes, please, get your cock in me, I’m so ready.”

In one strong thrust, he sheathes himself inside of her and holds himself steady for a long moment. 

“Move, baby, please…” Jude begs, desperate to feel the friction of him inside of her. Jens groans in pleasure at the sound of her begging and begins to move steadily, slow but hard thrusts into her. Jude is in heaven. She feels his dick rubbing her g-spot as he moves, and his thumb reaches down to rub her clit as his left hand reaches up to gather her wrists in his hand and hold them above her head, groaning and grunting softly with each thrust. Jude moans.

“That’s it, babe, I want to hear you.” And he begins to thrust harder and faster, as Jude pants and moans beneath him, climbing high yet again to reach another orgasm. “You gonna come again for me, Jude? Do it, I want to feel your hot cunt tighten around me. Oh yeah, that’s it.”

Jude comes, screaming out his name, which sets off Jens, who follows her, coming for a long moment before collapsing on top of her and rolling to the side. He pulls off the condom, ties it, and deposits it in the wastebasket near the bed.

“That was… amazing. So good.” Jude says, breathless.

“Hell yeah. Let’s do that again sometime.”

“I’m in.”

They snuggle up together, legs tangled, mutually deciding to clean up in the morning.

 

\--------------------------

The next morning, Jude wakes to a cold bed, but smells coffee and hears someone rattling around in the kitchen. She smells the air. Pancakes? Waffles? She tosses the covers off and shivers. Warm clothes first, then coffee. She grabs a pair of leggings, some wool socks, a nearby tank top, and a thick sweater, and heads into the bathroom.

She glances in the mirror, and sees her smeared makeup. “Oh, that’s cute,” she mutters to herself. She washes off last night’s makeup, grabs a rubberband, and heads out to the kitchen to see what Jens has gotten up to.

“Morning!” He calls out when he sees Jude walk in. He’s wearing his button-down and his pants from last night, and standing at the stovetop flipping pancakes.

“Morning,” Jude replies, yawning. “Aren’t you freezing?”

“Nah, I’m like a space heater. But look! I just finished breakfast. Hope you don’t mind, I just helped myself to some stuff in your fridge.”

“No, I don’t mind. I didn’t even realize I had pancake mix, actually. That’s a lucky find.”

“Oh, I actually didn’t find any mix. I just mixed these up since you have all the dry ingredients you need to make the mix anyway.”

“You made me pancakes from scratch.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, it’s like four ingredients.”

“You made me pancakes. From. Scratch.”

“Oh stop it. At least wait until you’ve tasted them.”

The pancakes were great.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jude and Jens go on a few dates and get to some aspects of their respective pasts. They also discuss their limits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a time jump, as well as discussion of past abuse and limits. Not the most exciting chapter, but hey. Information!

Jens and Jude went on several more dates. For their second date they went to a play. Three days later, date number three was walking on the Southbank. Date four they visited the Geffrye Museum and had coffee at the coffee shop at the museum. Dates 5-8 flew by in a flash, and Jens began to lose count. The more he learned about Jude, the more he wanted to know. They’d been having sex regularly, and most often Jude allowed him to take the reins.

They were having dinner at Jens’ flat, when he decided it was time to ask a question that had been bothering him.

“Jude… what do you know about dominance and submission?”

“I would venture to say that I know more than many people, and less than others. Why do you ask?” She looks apprehensive, which is not always the best way to begin a conversation like this.

“I like to be in control during sex. I prefer when my partners are submissive. I’ve had vanilla partners too, but… I think I have a better connection with submissive partners. Usually.”

Jude looks at Jens for a long moment. Jens clears his throat uncomfortably. Maybe he read the situation wrong?

“Of course, if you’re not interested in that, we don’t--”

“I used to be a sub.” Jude interrupts.

“Used to be?”

“I haven’t subbed for anyone in three years.” Jude’s voice has gone soft, quiet. “My last relationship was a long term one, and it ended poorly, to say the least.” Somehow Jude has managed to back herself into the corner of the couch and make herself look very small.

“I don’t mean to push, Jude.”

“No. I mean. You’re not. I just don’t love talking about it.” Her face has gone very flat, as though she doesn’t want to give anything away with any sort of facial expression.  
“What if we talk about limits?” Jens ventures. A conversation about limits might be a good way to ease into talking about their pasts.

“I’m not into scat or watersports of blood or anything,” Jude blurts. “Other than that, I’ll pretty much do whatever you want.”

“It’s not about just want I want, it’s about what we want to do together.”

Silence from Jude.

“That last guy really did a number on you, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

“Will you tell me about him?”

“You want to know what kind of a mess you’ve gotten yourself into, then?”

“No. But I would like to know more about you, and more about things that you like and don’t like. This seems like a good way to do both at once. How about I tell you about how I got into the scene, and then you tell me how you did?”

“That sounds fair.”

“Okay. It’s not terribly exciting or anything though. Growing up I did the typical teenage thing of looking at, ah, things online.” He gives her a wry smile and a wink. “You know what I mean by that. But I started looking through and clicking different links and checking out different tags and suddenly I found myself on the fetish sites. I had no interest in some of the way kinky stuff that turns a lot of people off right away. Like you said, scat and watersports are pretty hardcore. But the other stuff, some of the flogging and paddles, the control aspect in the bedroom? I couldn’t look away. As I get older, I realize that my primary interest in it all is the relationship between the dom and sub. With vanilla porn, I can’t suspend disbelief enough to get past all the cheesy dialogue and the scenarios, but with BDSM I don’t have to. There is already a level of trust and understanding between the two people in the scene that there doesn’t need to be between vanilla actors. That’s hot as hell. In college I met some people at some clubs. 

“I started out subbing. It’s hard to immediately know how to get into a scene as a Dom, you know? Subbing gets you in the door with a guide, if you find the right one. Eventually I realized that I never really got into the subspace I’d heard other people describe, and a friend at a club suggested I try Domming. We did some scenes together, and I came to decide that subbing wasn’t my thing. I get my pleasure from knowing that my sub is enjoying what I’m doing. There’s nothing better for me than seeing someone wrecked with pleasure that I gave them. 

“I’ve had two long term subs and several single night scenes. I’ve not been to any clubs here at this point. So, that’s my history.” He lets out a long breath.

Jude seems to steel herself, before beginning to speak quietly.

“In college I had this guy that I was seeing who liked to tie me up a little. One night he asked me if I was up for something a little more hardcore, and I said sure, why not? So he takes me to this club, and says ‘we’ll just watch, we don’t need to do anything’. So we just watched, but when we got back to my apartment that night we had the best sex that he and I had ever had. After he and I stopped seeing each other, I started going to this club by myself. I had a couple of short term flings with different Doms, but mainly three years ago I had a year-long relationship with a man named Tyler.”

She looks up at Jens, and he thinks she looks a little bit afraid. He thinks about interrupting her, telling her that she doesn’t need to tell her all this, but she’s already talking again.

“Tyler and I hit it off pretty well, but almost before I noticed, he had basically taken control of my life. He controlled everything about me, from what I ate to how much I exercised to how much television and computer time I had. He put controls on my phone so that I could only call certain numbers and he had my internet blocked with a password that only he knew. He didn’t let me see Matthew, and successfully convinced me that he didn’t want to see me, and convinced Matthew that I didn’t want to see him. He blocked his number on my phone in secret. He constantly told me how much work he had to do to get me in shape to be the perfect sub, and I was such an idiot, I believed him. I let him force me to work out for two hours every day, and he restricted my calories so much that I lost a bunch of weight. I didn’t see my family or friends, all I saw was Tyler. 

“Anyway, we broke up after we had a fairly intense scene one morning and a couple of hours later I passed out from dehydration and exhaustion at Matthew’s flat.”

“I thought you and Matt hadn’t been speaking?”

“It was just by chance. Matt had texted me the night before from a new phone number. Something like ‘I know you want nothing to do with me, but I got a new number and wanted to make sure you had it,’ and everything unraveled from there. When I confronted Tyler he talked me into doing the scene like he wasn’t mad at me and then he took all his frustrations out. I safe worded, but he ignored me.” 

"He _ignored_ -" Jens gasped, horrified.

“Yeah. Anyway, we broke up after we had that scene. After her released me from my restraints, I threw on whatever clothes I could find and drove to Matthew's flat, and a couple of hours later I passed out from dehydration and exhaustion at Matthew’s flat. Matthew took me to the hospital.”

Jens’ mind was racing. How could someone do something like that? Mistreat their sub and the trust that should be between them? Manipulate the bond that they shared to make Jude think that her submission was anything but a gift? Isolate someone from their family and friends? The amount of abuse Jude had taken was staggering, but her voice was completely flat and calm when she told the tale.

“Matthew doesn’t know anything about the BDSM aspect of our relationship. He thinks the beating I took was a single time, and he still doesn't know that I consented to it. But he does know about how controlling Tyler was about food and exercise. After I was in hospital and they had me stable, Matthew went over to Tyler’s, collected all of my things, and forbade him from coming to see me. I felt so stupid for letting Tyler tell me what to do that whole time.”

“I would never do that to you.” Jens states, resolute. She really thought what Tyler did was _consensual_? “I would never take you away from your family unless you wanted me to. I would never take out my anger on you in a scene. I would never-” Jens chokes on the words, feeling angry and shocked, “-I would _never_ ,” he repeats again.

“I know. I think I know, at least. Tyler was not a nice person, even looking back to when we first met. Can you believe he got me to go out with him on a bet? God, he was a smooth talker. Probably still is.” Jude shakes her head to herself again, still tucked into herself, and mutters, “...so stupid.”

Jens’ heart clenches for her, and he wraps his arms around her in a warm hug, which she sinks into with a sigh, though she still seems tense. “I hardly think it means that you’re stupid. You said yourself that he’s a smooth talker. I’m no expert on abusive relationships, but it’s never the relationships you expect, right?”

Jude seems unconvinced, but he lets it drop.

“Anyway, we should talk about limits?” A topic. To move on from the past, and into the future. That’s the way to move on, yeah?

\--------------------------

Jens pulls up a list on his phone, and Jude looks over his shoulder a little anxiously. She’s not quite recovered from telling Jens about Tyler. It’s not usually something she cares to think about, much less talk about. Which probably isn’t very healthy, but who ever said Jude was good at coping? Why hasn’t Jens left yet? He knows now how broken she is. Why isn’t he gone? Any sane person would have left by now, Jude was sure of it. It’s making her feel on edge, and she doesn’t know what to make of him. Why are they going over a list if he’s going to leave? Maybe he just wants to go over it so they can scene and then he’ll leave. That sounds more reasonable. He probably just wants to scene with her, now that he knows that she’s so fucked up. A relationship with her has got to be out of the question. Right?

She looks over the list, and it’s a long list. She laughs a little nervously. “I’ve never done this before. I didn’t even realize some of these things had names!”

Jens looks up at her, “Yeah, it’s a long list. Some are even longer.” He pulls pens and a pad of paper out of the drawer of his coffee table and hands her a sheet of paper. “Here. We’ll each write down the ones that sound good to us, and then we’ll go from there.”

“That sounds highly reasonable, my good sir,” Jude replies with a shaky smile.

“Sir?” Jens quirks a sly grin. “I like that.”

“Oh hush you. We’re not in a scene yet.” He grins at her, Jude feels her shakiness slipping away, and they both start looking over the list.

A few minutes later, they each have a list of kinks that they’d be interested in or at least willing to try. Jens begins the discussion. He's sitting on the couch with his list on his lap while Jude sits on the floor, having been writing her list using the coffee table. She angles towards him as he begins the discussion.

“Anal sex?”

“Willing to do it, but it’s never been my favorite. I’d give it a 2 out of 5.”

“Anal plugs?”

“Hm, small ones, nothing too large.”

“Animal roles?”

Jude makes a face. “Sorry. You can go ahead and nix any kind of pet play as well. I’ve been called ‘kitten’ a few times, but it never really gets me going.”

“Nor me, but it’s a common one. I’d’ve been willing to give it a go, if you were interested. Very well, no animal roles or pet play. Please also say no to bestiality.”

“Bestiality is a hard pass for me. Definitely.” She gives a small shudder and Jens laughs at her response.

“Good to know we’re on the same page: animals are not sexy. Next on the list: ‘beating.’ I took this to mean any kind of impact play, but then I saw that flogging and spanking were further down.”

Jude squirms in her seat a little, imagining Jens with a flogger in his hand, raining blows down on her ass. “Um. Yes. To uh. All of it.” 

“That’s a good one for you, huh?”

Jude blushes, embarrassed. _What did I just admit to?_ “Yeah. I like it. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. No uh, permanent marks though. No blood.”

Jens’ grin is playfully evil. “Well I’m certainly not complaining. Next? Ah. Biting. I have pretty positive feelings towards this one, as long as it doesn’t draw blood.”

“Same. I uh, like marks.” Jude feels a little bit squirmy, is she more uncomfortable or turned on? It’s hard to say, really.

“How about bondage?”

“That would be an emphatic yes.”

“I figured. I’m going to skip through some now, because the next few didn’t interest me at all. I have a ‘maybe’ on chastity belts, because to be quite honest, I like to control my partner’s orgasms. But I’m not interested in it beyond it being within a scene. I have no interest in controlling someone’s day-to-day life, it’s more in the realm of orgasm delay or denial in a scene.” Jens looks slightly nervous, and Jude moves to reassure him.

“No, I understand. Within a scene, I don’t mind control of orgasms, even if it’s a chastity belt. But only within a scene. I have no interest in wearing one outside of the bedroom.”

“Agreed. I also skipped past age-play, including diapers and any daddy/little stuff.”

“Same. I sort of get it, but it also makes me feel icky at the same time.”

Jens laughs, “I absolutely know what you mean. Not to kink shame, but no thanks. I’d rather have you call me ‘Sir’ than “Daddy.’ On the topic of names, what do you prefer being called within a scene?”

Jude gives a noncommittal shrug. “My name? I suppose pet names are fine. I think unless it’s for a specific scene, I’m not a fan of name-calling.”

Jens gets a twinkle in his eye that Jude can’t explain until he says, “Praise kink?”

Another shiver from Jude. She can feel her cheeks redden. She can’t control it. “ _Please_.”

Jens scoots closer to her. “Begging?”

Jude closes her eyes, still feeling flushed. She sighs a little. “Yes.”

“Come here.”

Jude climbs into Jens’ lap and faces him, list forgotten. 

“Do you have a safeword?” Jens is leaning up to kiss her as she leans down towards him.

“Green means go. Yellow for slow. Red for pause. Pineapple means full stop.”

“Your color?”

“ _Green_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut upcoming, as I'm sure you could guess. Please let me know if I made some huge, unforgivable error. In my mind they talk further about kinks, but the list is long, and I don't think anyone wants to sit through that whole discussion. Important in real life, but this is fiction, so I took some liberties.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smuuuuut. And some fluff.

Within minutes, Jude was naked, Jens didn’t have a shirt on, and he was sucking on the side of her throat.  
  
“Jude. Bed. On your back. Don’t touch.”  
  
Jude lays herself back on the bed and struggles not to reach for a nipple or her clit. She watches Jens open a box from under the bed, shifting through it. He carefully pulls out a decently sized black dildo and a simple bullet vibrator.  
  
“Don’t move.”  
  
Jens starts by putting his mouth gently on her left nipple while his left hand reaches up to play with her right nipple. Jude’s hips start to move subtly, and Jens stops what he’s doing.  
  
“Stay still, please,” Jens reminds her, sternly.  
  
“Yes, Sir.” Jude whimpers quietly.  
  
As Jens returns to his task, Jude hers him turn on the vibrator. He slowly trails it up her abdomen until he reaches her nipple, where Jude cries out softly as he circles it around first one, then the other.  
  
“Here’s what I’m going to do, Jude,” he talks while he moves the roving vibrator lower and lower. “I’m going to see what I can do with this little pussy. I want it as wet as possible. So I’m going to take my time. The vibrator is now moving lightly around the lips of her cunt, clearly avoiding her clit. “I’m going to fuck you with this dildo-” he picks up the dildo and teases at her opening with it “-and then I’m going to fuck you with my cock. You will only come when I tell you to, and you will not move unless I tell you. Understand?”  
  
“Yes, Sir.”  
  
“You may make as much noise as you’d like, but do not move.” He lightly touches her clit with the vibrator. Jude gasps, but keeps still. “Good girl,” he says, smiling. Jens rubs all along the slit of her pussy, and moves her legs so that they are spread wide open for him. He brings his fingers up to her mouth. “Suck,” he instructs.  
  
Jude opens her mouth and sucks the digits in, swirling her tongue around and between Jens’ fingers. He pulls them out, and reaches down to her pussy.  
  
“Mm, Jude. Nice and wet. Practically dripping. Are you wet for me, Jude?”  
  
“Yes, Sir. So wet for you, I need you-- Ah!” Jude gasps again, as the vibrator is pressed to her clit, and the dildo is pushed part of the way in. When Jude unconsciously rolls her hips to bring more of the dildo inside of her, Jens stops everything and smacks the inside of her thigh. She yelps. It stings only for a second, but Jens stops to remind her.  
  
“No moving.”  
  
“Yes, Sir!” Jude is mentally writhing. She waits for Jens to get back to work, and feels the dildo pushed against her gently again, and the vibrator is back on her clit. “Oh! Sir! Please-- more I need--” Jude is panting, and begging.  
  
Jens ignore her and takes his time, pushing in and pulling out centimeter by centimeter until the dildo is firmly inside of her and Jude is panting harder. When the silicone cock still, buried deep in her cunt with the vibrator buzzing merrily on her clit, she begs again.  
  
“Move, please -- please move, I can’t -- ah, please, Sir!”  
  
“You want me to move it? You want me to pound your little cunt with this big fake cock?” He twists it slowly inside of her, back and forth.  
  
“Oh! Yes! Please, anything…”  
  
Jens smirks and responds, “As you wish.”  
  
He brings the dildo almost all the way back out, and pushes it back in, quickly and hard. Over and over, he pounds her with the fake cock, as she whines and moans, all the while holding that vibrator on her clit. And then he start wiggling the vibrator. The moment her brain catches up with the sensation, she starts moving her hips, trying to get more or less of the vibrator-- she can’t even tell. She knows she’s about to come if he doesn’t--  
  
Jens again stops everything and smacks the sensitive inside of her thigh. “Do you need me to stop?” He asks, with a raised eyebrow. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if you didn’t even get to come?”  
  
“I’m so sorry, please keep going, it won’t happen again, I promise, please please please…” Jude whines desperately, and holds herself to tightly that her thighs start to shake.  
  
“I think we need a moment to calm down, don’t you?” He pushes the dildo inside of her again, but rather than starting back up with the vibrator, he delivers a series of hard smacks that have Jude reeling from the sensation. “I think you were going to come without my permission,” he smacks her thighs again. “And I think I need to turn these thighs into a nice shade of pink before we start up again, don’t you?”  
  
“Yes! Ah -- Sir.” Jude has tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  
  
“Jude. Color?”  
  
“Green, sir! So green, please fuck me…”  
  
He stops smacking her thighs, and she hears the vibrator once more. He presses it back onto her clit, and she stays still.  
  
Jens starts working back up with the dildo, pumping it in and out quickly, and begins talking.  
  
“So good for me, Jude, you listen to well. You’re a good girl, aren’t you? Look how wet your cunt is, you’ve gotten my hand all wet. I can see your greedy cunt just eating up this cock; is it ever satisfied? Can’t get enough, can you? You’re close, huh?”  
  
“Yes, sir! So close, please let me come, I need to come I want it so bad,” Jude whines and moans, hands curling into fists to prevent them from trailing down and touching herself even more, providing that stimulation to make herself come.  
  
“Good girl. Come.”  
  
Jude wails, and comes hard. She can hear the dildo, pumping in and out without stopping, and feels the vibrator on her clit. It’s like an explosion inside of her. Her stomach clenches, her thighs clench. She feels her cunt clench on the dildo that doesn’t stop fucking her.  
  
Jens grins and starts fucking her harder the moment she starts to come down, wiggles the bullet vibrator a little more on her clit. “Do it again, Jude. Come for me again.”  
  
Jude comes a second time, barely recovered from the first one. Her toes curl, her foot cramps, and she gives a high pitch squeal that morphs into a long drawn out moan.  
  
Jens tosses the vibrator and the dildo aside on the bed, rolls a condom on, and thrusts deep inside of her in one push. Jude whimpers again as he begins to piston is hips in and out. He moves his thumb onto her clit, and rubs hard. “One more, Jude. Come one more time for me.”  
  
Jude shakes her head back and forth, and Jens pulls her hips even higher, to push himself in even harder, leaving only her shoulders and head still on the bed.  
  
“Come on, Jude. Give it to me.”  
  
She comes again. Sees stars burst in front of her eyes. Feels Jens continue to fuck into her hard and fast while she just lays there, limp from three orgasms pulled from her so quickly.  
  
Jude feels wrung out, but Jens keeps fucking. It’s perhaps one minute more of glorious fucking in and out, when Jens stills and empties himself into the condom inside of her. He pulls himself out quickly, tears off the condom, and finishes coming on her body. She feels the come rapidly cooling on her lower belly and her mound, but doesn’t even move as Jens throws himself onto the bed next to her.  
  
“Wow.”  
  
“You can say that again. How do you feel?” He seems slightly concerned, so Jude tries to reassure him before she inevitably falls asleep.  
  
“So, so good.”

 

\-------------------------

 

Jens is in awe of his girlfriend. She held herself back through a pretty thorough pounding, if he does say so himself, and then came on command? Not bad for a first real scene.  
  
Jude had fallen asleep pretty quickly after they finished, so Jens gathers her up and carries her into the bathroom. Thank goodness for big showers with built-in benches and handheld shower heads.  
  
She’s just awake enough to lean against the wall once she’s sitting without falling over, so Jens washes her and then himself quickly, all the while murmuring to her that she did so well, she’s so beautiful and good; before wrapping her up in a towel and carrying her back to his bedroom.  
  
The sheets are a mess. He makes a face, and sets her carefully down on the loveseat in his bedroom before rushing over to the closet to pull some sheets. He strips his bed and makes it again, keeping a careful eye on Jude, who appears to have fallen back asleep.  
  
After settling Jude into the bed (and carefully wrapping the towel around her wet hair -- how do girls even _do_ that?) he walks back out to the kitchen to grab some supplies. Namely, some juice, water, and a couple of snacks for Jude.  
  
He settles back onto the bed and gently wakes her up. “Jude? Beautiful, I need you to wake up and drink some of this juice. Come on, let me see those gorgeous eyes of yours.”  
  
Jude’s nose scrunches up adorably, and her eyes open sleepily. “Hmmm?” It’s all she seems to be able to say as she focuses in on Jens’ face. “No. Sleep.” And she attempts to snuggle back into the bed.  
  
“No, no,” he coaxes her, “wake up, babe, I need you to drink and eat a little bit, and then I promise we can go to sleep.” He helps her to sit up against the headboard, and brings the straw for the orange juice to her. She dutifully drinks out of it, and even takes a few nuts and pretzels from the trail mix he had brought for her. It’s then that she seems to register the towel on her head.  
  
“Did you wash me?”  
  
“Mm-hmm. And I changed the sheets.”  
  
“What a man.” he chuckles, lightly.  
  
“You did so great. You were so gorgeous, and you listened so well. You did everything I asked you to. Incredible.” He rubs her neck and she leans against him.  
  
“What are you talking about? I kept messing up.” She colors slightly and won’t look him in the eye.  
  
Jens is surprised. Didn’t she know that these scenes were _meant_ to take her to her limits? That it’s part of the play? That she’s gorgeous when she submits? That he loves that he was able to give her such pleasure that she couldn’t _not move_ despite her iron control that she maintain every other moment?  
  
“Jude. You were exceptional. I’m _beyond_ impressed that you were able to stay as still as you did for that long. There is literally nothing for you to be ashamed of. You’re so fucking responsive and I always expected you to move at least a little bit. I think I expected you would move more, actually. And the fact that you didn’t come, even though I pushed you so close to the edge more than once is thrilling for me. Please don’t think you did anything but exceed my expectations.” He tries to look her in the eye, but she looks away to avoid it.  
  
“I’m sorry I moved, though. And I almost came without permission.”  
  
“But you _didn’t_ come without permission. And you don’t have to be sorry anymore that you moved. I punished you, remember? You already had your consequences during the scene, you don’t need to keep thinking about them.” Did her past Doms do this? Did they blame her outside of the scenes for every infraction? Jens feels something tight in his chest imagining Jude being punished outside of a scene for something she had no control over.  
  
Jude looks back at him with a little wrinkle in her forehead. He leans in and kisses it.  
  
“Did you enjoy yourself? You were so beautiful like that. Not even tied up or anything, but restrained yourself,” he lets out a wistful sigh, remembering how good she looked, “I hope we can do it again. But if it wasn’t good for you, I don’t want to do it again. Understand?”  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. It was pretty incredible actually. Though I may need some lotion for the inside of my thighs. I bet they’re still red.”  
  
“Hang on, I’ve got just the thing!” He practically runs to the bathroom and grabs some aloe lotion for her. “Let me put it on for you?”  
  
She looks surprised. “Oh. I thought-- of course. Yeah, sure.” Did she not think he would want to help her? What kind of fucking aftercare did those assholes even give her? He puts it out of his mind and rubs down her legs with the lotion, giving them a soft massage as he moves.  
  
“Just lay down, babe. I’ve got this. Close your eyes and go to sleep if you want, I’ll join you in a minute."  
  
She lays down and closes her eyes with a smile. Jens finishes up his massage and gets back in bed, putting his arms around her. They slowly drift off to sleep, and everything is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. Just smuttiness. My first kink scene though. Boom!
> 
> Also: Jude didn't think he would ACTUALLY go and get her something for her smacked inner thighs. And she beats herself for her mistakes! Yeah, I know. It's trope-y. But it needed to get out of my head.


End file.
